I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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