its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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