Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
