Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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