He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
