Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
People in love make me want to vomit
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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