and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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