dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
