foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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