im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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