okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
