dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
