oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
