Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize