You really coming over, don't trick.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
