and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
