I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize