I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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