Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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