Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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