Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
