Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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