i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
