You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
