When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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