so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
