I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
