Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
