this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
