I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize