For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
