You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
