You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't deserve a penis
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
