Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
