I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
