She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
