I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
