if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
They have beer where we have blood.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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