I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
