If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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