I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
