Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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