Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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