At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
