There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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