a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize