Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
