Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
