He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
