Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
