he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
