i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize