you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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