She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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