The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
