..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
