Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
