Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
be right there i have to get my cape
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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