Whod you bang
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
