nut hugger
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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