shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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